I would like to tell you that I love you...

• March 31, 2003
• James Skemp
• prose

• I would like to tell you that I love you, but I'm afraid of the words...
• I'm not worried about commitment, in the traditional sense...
• I'm afraid that you'll hurt me, like all the ones before...
• How I would love to tell you that I want to make you happy, but should I...
• How I would love to tell you that I would do anything for you, my life is in your hands...
• But as I sit here, writing this piece...
• Tears come to my eyes, these tears are shed for you...
• I'm not a poet, and I'm not a politician...
• I can't say the words, that will knock you off your feet...
• But every time I see you, sitting that way that you do...
• Like a ray of light, drawing eyes towards you...
• Oh how I wish I could pluck my eyes out, my eyes water so...
• How I wish I had never met you, I wouldn't beat myself like I do...
• But oh to miss that radiance, that glow you've gathered around you...
• I must wonder, could I be the one...
• I must wonder, do you think of me the way I think of you...
• How I wish I could read your mind, and find out what you think...
• I couldn't tell you how I feel, and then have you laugh or cry...
• I must wonder, is this just a passing phase...
• Will I see another, another as beautiful as you...
• Is this a crush, destined for pain and sorrow...
• Is this a chance, the only chance I have...
• You could be the one, but dare I take the chance...
• The stakes are high, so very high...
• On the climb up to this spot, my breathe kept getting shorter and shorter...
• My heart's pounding, I wonder if you can hear...
• Maybe you know, and you are just playing with me...
• Girls are like that, I've known a few...
• They've been hurt before, and retribution is their goal...
• I beat at my breast, just like in the old tales...
• I tear at my skin, pain to my flesh is nothing like painful thoughts...
• I'm so sad, and I wish for peace...
• But I am a chicken, and a fool as well...
• "I love you, I love you...
• "Silly boy, no you don't"...
• Jump off a cliff, fall to the ground...
• Is this more painful then, then getting hit by a car...
• I've heard the silly love songs, and they're making me grim...
• Maybe I'm too hasty, but it doesn't feel like I am...
• I don't feel wrong, I just feel bad/sad...
• "Hey, I love you"...
• "Hey, I need you"...
• "Hey, can you show me the way"...
• But, do I really need a reason to believe...
• I'm at the end, it's tearing me up...
• I think, "maybe it's possible"...
• I once was going to ask, "can I take you to a movie"...
• "Can I buy you a meal, and listen to you speak"...
• "I love how you talk, the way you talk"...
• "The words you use, the things you say"...
• "I've enjoyed you since I met you, oh so long ago"...
• But you'll never know, you'll never see...
• Someone will Google, and see these words I write...
• They'll come and read, perhaps...
• They'll say, oh how sweet...
• Or, oh how sad...
• And it is sad, I hope that is plain...
• I'm torn, every cut is a woman...
• My heart is a mass, a pulp of veins...
• Some work, and some do not...
• Woman, oh how I curse them...
• But, how can I not love them!?!
• They've made me flip, so I'm quite insane...
• I wish I could be like the others, so they'd find me pleasing...
• But I am not, I am a thinker...
• I love to listen, and hate to ignore...
• I'm lost, and sinking fast...
• I keep hoping, "next year"...
• Next year comes, and I repeat my hope...
• I wish I was a jerk, a slob...
• They've got the girls, but are any of them the one for me...
• There's many that I'd love, with that grin that melts ice...
• With those eyes so sparkling, stars in a sky...
• Hair that moves, up and down and left to right...
• Skin so soft, and a smell that soaks the air...
• She has them all, those qualities I need to survive...
• Yet I cannot, no matter how much I would like...
• Oh, to tell her that I love her...