Brief notes on marriage and children

• September 22, 2007
• James Skemp
• article, philosophy

For most of us, from our earliest days we are taught that one day we will become an adult, get married, and have children. Depending upon where you grow up, what your parents think of higher education, and what their thoughts are regarding said education, going to college may also be a part of the prescribed future.

But, it is marriage and children that is usually most common.

Years ago, people would marry their high school sweethearts. Now, people are marrying their college sweethearts. Of course, there are always exceptions. Many wait until they are in their thirties. Some even later. But just how many young girls don't think about their weddings?

Having children is also a part of the equation. Get married and not have children? Seems rather odd.

Of course, there are some who feel an overpowering desire to have children, for whatever reason that may be. Is it continuing the family blood (mixed though it may now be), or the desire for immortality? Yet, they are something of the same.

Some live their lives trying to find the one that they'll marry for life, and after they do, realize that they can never have children after what they've experienced. Some see the number of children without good homes, that are already alive, and choose to adopt. Some have over a dozen children, but long for even just one more.

If children are such hard work, why do so many have them? Accidents happen, of course, but there are ways of preventing mistakes, some of which are more permanent than others. What is it that makes raising a child, from scratch, if you will, so different from being a big brother/sister? From adopting? From tutoring? To volunteering?

Is it related to Dawkin's selfish gene, or are we back to the quest for immortality (and are these so different)?